Just got dental coverage for the first time in years so I wanted to get my teeth cleaned. Not going to lie the dentist was kinda sus. The cleaning was a little haphazard and they left that tiny vacuum in my mouth and walked away while it sucked onto my dingle dangle. Also there was a beefed, sweaty man in the bathroom soooooooo.......

Is my dentist running a prostitution ring?

People talk about the "terrible twos" but I always thought it was just a saying until I had to babysit babysit my nephew while I visited my family in Connecticut. It wasn't all bad - sometimes he's funny, sometimes he's cute, but overall he's kinda terrifying.  

Why are two-year-olds terrible?

I don't know what it is but women's clothing makes no sense to me. Why does everything have to have the word "cream" on it? What does that mean? What are they trying to say?!?! I recently started shopping in the boys section - turns out the t-shirt selection is significantly better.

Why do I shop in the boy's section?

My parents moved out of New York last year and needed to get rid of a bunch of old stuff that they had accumulated over the years. I offered to sell some of the nicer stuff in exchange for a small commission (a girl's gotta make cash during covid somehow.) I sold a rug for them two months ago which was pretty easy but had no idea how complicated it would be to sell an original Peanuts cartoon that they had for some reason. 

Are auctions worth it?

Hi, this is Mia. I'm going to be writing these descriptions in the first person from how on. Is it weird? Idk maybe. But I thought it might be more fun. In today's podcast I talk about some of the injuries I've had over the years, mostly from ballet, which tbh is not something you should let your kids do. Most recently my thoracic area of my spine and my scalene muscles have been giving me some problems? What are those? You've got to listen to find out.  I also talk about how I found Bob & Brad a youtube physical therapist duo who I think have helped me feel better? Are they lovers? Idk. Do I wish they were? Yes. Do they have a lot of branded devices that could be used to fix your back as well as sex things? Also yes. &lt;3 Mia

What makes pain chronic?

Recently Mia’s husband got into chess which is...unfortunate. She rants about how Queen's Gambit would have been better without chess and how pawns look like nips. She also listened to a TEDx talk about patience and decided that it's not for her. She would definitely eat that marshmallow. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Is patience really a virtue?

Mia and her husband generate what seems like TOO much garbage for two people - even taking into account how much Mia likes to upcycle. She dove into the world of waste reducing lifestyles and found a ton of info that's both confusing and sometimes gross. @miapinchoff 2dumb2tame.com

Why am I a garbage machine?

Everyone in Mia's life has watched The Bachelor except for her - her friends, her sisters, and even her husband. She finally takes the plunge and genuinely can't believe what she's seeing, starting with the fact that it's TWO HOURS LONG! 2dumb2tame.com miapinchoff.com

Am I just a hater...of The Bachelor?

Mia's building recently had a break in and the management company hasn't done anything to fix the situation so she's taking things into her own hands. Her "Home Alone" security measures include pepper gel and a vacuum cleaner with a cat head mounted on top. 

Are we ever really safe?

Mia interviews Galit Friedlander a choreographer, podcaster, trainer, and her oldest friend. They talk about her journey from dance to training, what her favorite muscle is, and their idea to do ASMR workout content. You can find Galit's podcast DanceSpeak on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dancespeak/id1111916220 Check out her training program on Patreon: patreon.com/TrainWithGalit Galit's Instagram: instagram.com/gogalit

What do personal trainers think about the rest of us?

Mia recently saw Anaconda, which...wow Jon Voight is all over the place but her thoughts about the movie quickly turns to the gross and sexual when she discovers that snakes have two penises. She also checks out an article about Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candles exploding....yeah. It's a weird one.

Why do people like Anaconda?

Mia's husband has been given her crap about how long it takes her to get ready. Recently he asked her to go over her shower routine but she'd rather have you be the judge - spoiler warning. It's kind of ridiculous...I who else starts off their shower by dust busting the entire bathroom??

Why do my showers take so long?

Mia's garden had an aphid infestation, so right before new year she bought 1500 ladybugs because apparently they like to chow down on aphids. The only problem is that she only realized she's afraid of ladybugs after she bought them. The ladybugs turned out to be good at two things. Eating aphids and boning. 

Why did I buy 1500 ladybugs?

Did everyone spend their first stimulus check on a Peloton? Mia goes over how intense she used to work out at the gym and how that was difficult to translate to home work outs. She also volunteers to be a motivational insulter for anyone that wants to get their butt off the couch but needs to be demeaned in order to do so.   Want to try the workout that Mia is doing? You can find more info and sign up for next month at trainwithgalit.com

Does everyone have a Peloton now?

Mia doesn't know anything about basketball. The only time she ever sees it is when her husband has it on in the living room but apparently it's pre-season! So she's decided to take look at the NBA names and logos and, like an octopus, make a completely uninformed prediction who will win the NBA finals in 2021. Also, she was very disappointed that the Denver Nuggets weren't named after chicky nuggiez.

Who's going to win the NBA Finals?

Apparently, Mia only watches shows that no one else has seen (Getting On...anyone? It's fantastic). So she watched the two top rated comedies from last season Young Sheldon and Mom to see what all the fuss was about. They were the only comedies in the top 50, which is depressing. The whole list was basically football, football, football, crime, crime, crime, and The Voice. 

What TV shows are actually popular?

This year is a disaster but that doesn't mean holiday gifts should be too. Mia goes over how covid and quarantine life has changed the kinds of gifts she wants to get for her family as well as the kinds of gifts she wants for herself.

What are good gifts in 2020?

Mia has been skeptical of companies pushing self care for a while - mostly because she's not good at it. However, it turns out that other people, smarter people...like doctors and scientists and stuff, also think there's reason to give self care branded rosé some side eye. Mia also got a new microphone. Let us know if her "esses" are less esss-y and her "p's" are less penis-y...I don't know...she said it.

Do we really self care?

Mia wonders if hypnotherapy would be able to help her get over her fears of filming herself (if you follow her on instagram or youtube you know she never posts vlog style videos), her pickiness about elastic, and her inability to wear mismatching socks. She also researches what hypnotherapy actually entails and who the top hypnotherapist in Los Angeles is - unfortunately it was a man named Brice sooooo yeah...not encouraging.   

Should I get hypnotherapy?

Mia has a tiny collection... a collection of tiny things not one that doesn't have a lot of things in it. She doesn't know why she feels the need to keep things so she set about figuring out why - using science, which she has a hard time understanding. This was also recorded the day they declared the election for Biden so Mia also talks about her unhealthy curiosity about Wolf Blitzer's sleepwear.

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