When a middle schooler snaps, “Don’t raise your voice at me,” it can feel disrespectful, frustrating, and emotionally charged. But underneath that pushback is usually a very different message: “I’m overwhelmed,” “Your tone is stressing me out,” or “I don’t feel heard.”In this episode of Bouncing Back with Karen Brisport, we break down what tweens and teens are really communicating when they use this phrase and why it’s less about volume and more about emotional safety. Karen helps parents and educators understand the developmental factors at play, how tone impacts kids’ sense of security, and why middle schoolers often express themselves defensively when they’re dysregulated.You’ll learn three practical strategies to shift the energy in the moment: taking care of your own emotional state, using a calm reset phrase that brings everyone back to center, and teaching respectful communication by modeling it and tying it to positive classroom or home outcomes.This episode is a grounded, compassionate reminder that connection, not control is the goal. And with a few simple adjustments, you can respond in a way that keeps the relationship strong, reduces power struggles, and encourages healthier emotional expression in the young people you care for.

Why Your Tone Matters More Than You Think to Middle Schoolers

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