Jessica Malvicino Live Work With Jessica-- Living with Regrets Rhonda and I recently did live work at a TEAM-CBT intensive in Mexico City. Our “patient” was a 40 year old mental health professional named Jessica with many years of unhappiness because of a decision she made when she was just 17. Perhaps you’ve also looked back on your life and thought, “If only I would have . . . “ done something I didn’t do,” as well as, “I wish I hadn’t done X, when I was young.” Last week you heard the initial Testing and Empathy portions of the session with Jessica. Today you&#39;ll hear the Assessment of Resistance, Methods, and final Testing..        Part 2 of the Jessica Session A = Assessment of Resistance Jessica said her goal for the session was learning to accept life and move on, and not have such constant feelings of emptiness, with so many “I should have” thoughts running through her brain. Although Jessica, like most people, said she’d press the Magic Button to make all of her negative thoughts and feelings disappear, we decided to do some Positive Reframing first, to see if there were some positives hiding in her negative feelings. We asked the following questions about a number of her negative feelings and thoughts:  Why might this thought or feeling be appropriate and healthy? Why might this thought or feeling be helpful to you? Why does this thought or feeling show about you and your core values that’s positive and awesome. ?  As you probably know, the goal of there are two goals for this paradoxical exercise: First, we want to bring the patient’s subconscious resistance to conscious awareness. Second, we want her to see that her struggling and suffering is NOT the result of what’s WRONG with her, but rather, what’s RIGHT with her. The moment that people really “see” and “get” this, there’s often a sharp and sudden reduction in feelings of shame, and a strong burst of motivation to crush the negative thoughts at the heart of her misery. Here are some of the Positives we listed: SADNESS My sadness shows my passion and love of dancing. It shows my dedication to the idea of having a fulfilling career. It shows that I’m a very loving person. ANXIETY, WORRY, NERVOUSNESS These feelings  show that I’m responsible motivate me to complete tasks help me avoid procrastination make me vigilant and protect me from danger  SHAME  These feeling show that I’m concerned about others I’m human I want to please others with my career I admire my mom and want to make her proud I want her to admire me I’m humble I want to feel close to others  ANGER  These feelings show that I’m a caring and passionate person I have character I have a moral compass I’m feisty and strong I’m accountable My anger also empowers me  After listing these and other positives, Jessica decided to use the Magic Dial to reduce her negative feelings to lower levels, but not necessarily all the way to zero, as you can see in the goal

377: Living with Regrets, Part 2 of 2

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