In which Marrow remains a connoisseur of dead rats; Jay has opinions about the NYC Subway system; U.L.T.I.M.A.T.U.M. are snazzy dressers; Doctor Doom gets excited about Onslaught; Magneto can have a rocket pack if he wants; villainous game recognizes villainous game; weird retcons are the best retcons; and you should totally come to our birthday party.

442 – MimeQuest 64

In which Banshee should eat the rich; the real Monet is way more of a jerk than the fake one; the Marvel Universe is the world inside your brain-case; Maggott joins and quits Generation X at almost the speed of Sunfire; Dracula gives Chamber the D; and if Jay and Miles die in this episode, they die in real life.

X-PLAINED:

 	Dracula as a universal standard
 	Earth-441
 	Generation X #48-49
 	The missed potential of 13,000-year-old teenager Gaia
 	The Jay Faerber run of Generation X
 	Emma and Banshee’s forgotten X-friendship
 	That time that Moira ripped off Banshee’s skin and wore it like a Halloween costume (again)
 	Cordelia Frost, Emma’s younger sister
 	Adrienne Frost, Emma’s older sister
 	Interpersonal arguments by way of Asgardian combat scenarios
 	Jubilee, fox; versus M, scorpion
 	Alaska, moping capital of the Marvel Universe
 	Clever scene transitions
 	Constantine Francis Slaughter IV and his mustache
 	Puberty as body horror
 	Husk’s breakup haircut
 	Slug emulation
 	Generation X / Dracula Annual 1998
 	The Council of Cross-Time Draculas
 	Chamber’s goofy face
 	Vampire fonts
 	Jubilee’s bunny slippers
 	Charlie Brown in Snow Valley
 	Count von Count (again)
 	Monsters as class metaphor
 	What would happen if Synch synced with Legion
 	Who would pronounce Cable like Britta Perry pronounces bagel

NEXT EPISODE: Victor Von Doom X-Plains the X-Men.



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441 – Dracu-tastic

From organic steel to organic... whatever that is. (X-Men #83)

In which the Hunt for Xavier remains vaguely disappointing; Gambit is good with kids; nanomachines are the new unstable molecules; Marrow is a walking armory; and we recommend comics for babies.

X-PLAINED:

 	The Hunt for Xavier, Part 2
 	Babies and/or ghosts
 	Chekhov’s repowering
 	X-Men #83-84
 	Uncanny X-Men #364
 	Cerebro / Cerebro Prime
 	Cerebrite Alpha
 	Cerebrite Beta
 	X-Men serial numbers
 	What Gambit’s friends call him
 	How Miles stopped worrying and learned to love Gambit
 	Evil robot sperm
 	Mary Purcell
 	Multiple-monitor displays
 	A computer with a computer
 	AI
 	The Florida facility
 	Post
 	Pile-Driver X
 	A glimpse into the butt of all humanity
 	Comics for babies
 	Name-based powers

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X has Dracula problems!



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440 – Fightin’ and Ballin’

In which we reach the beginning of an end; Jay totally forgot Gambit was there; we’re all living in the Mary Purcelliverse; the X-Men split the party; and we explore The Bay Area’s Bohemian Hotbed of Student Anarchy.

X-PLAINED:

 	Mary Purcell (sort of)
 	The re-defaulting of the X-Men
 	Uncanny X-Men #362-323
 	X-Men #82
 	Nebraska
 	Pyro (Saint John Allerdyce) and his endless illness
 	Legacy Virus variations
 	Going home again
 	Running back and forth in quarries
 	Marrow, who’s come a long way
 	The two forms of fire: skeleton monsters and sexy ladies
 	Cerebro (the evil one)
 	San Francisco and Tajikinistan
 	Asphalt ball pits
 	A topsy-turvy nonsensical impossible hell
 	Nina the Mannite
 	Desire, love, loss, and fear
 	Skulls and spines
 	The New (New) Brotherhood of Mutants
 	Cerebrites Alpha and Beta
 	A lost, smelly fish
 	Ambiguous art
 	Blood, sweat, and fears
 	Which mutants would cause the most chaos at holiday gatherings
 	Hopes for post-Fall society

NEXT EPISODE: 2 Hunt 2 Xavier



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439 – Fishfic

In which Gambit knows how to make an entrance; Rogue and Gambit only have relationship conversations during superhero fights; Wolverine fights a shark; and we have opinions on how to handle certain aspects of backstory.

438 – The Man of Harsh Business

"Hot Topic Rennfaire" was a somewhat controversial choice for X-Force's prom theme. (X-Force #85)

In which the overlap between Rocky Horror and ‘90s X-Force fans is probably pretty significant; Pandemonia has priorities; the warehouse gets an evil, sexy glowup; swears are great; Johnny Blaze’s motorcycle probably shouldn’t still be on fire; and there is no single definitive X-Men experience.

X-PLAINED:

 	Master Pandemonium
 	X-Force #85
 	X-Force/Champions Annual 1998
 	What X-Force has been up to lately
 	The regrettable absence of Doctor Doom
 	Possession
 	Community
 	Cougars (euphemistic)
 	The thrift cycle
 	Rusty Collins on Krakoa
 	Fashion
 	An eons-old accord between the Houses of Chaos and the Lord of Valhalla
 	Jennifer Kale
 	The list
 	Swears
 	A statue of Hades
 	Various appendages sticking out of the earth
 	Hercules
 	The mystic power of sarcasm
 	The greatest fear of a Titan
 	Monet St. Croix vs. the Count of Monte Cristo
 	Good X-books for your fifteen-year-old niece

NEXT EPISODE: Wolverine vs. Vampires (again)!



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437 – Dismember the Titans

In which Colossus has had a rough time of it; the X-Men are at their best in bar fights; Bronze-age Wolverine was a jerk; Ursa Major deserves more page space; kids dig Nightcrawler; and we imagine an X-Men newspaper comic strip.

436 – The Feel-Good Movie of the Summer

 

Illustration by David Wynne

In which we have had an eventful year; Longshot is a classic folk hero; writer Kieron Gillen makes a triumphant and mildly terrifying return to the show; and you remain the best listeners of any podcast, ever.

X-PLAINED:

 	Our tenth birthday party!
 	2023
 	Longshot vol. 2 #1
 	Longshot as a folkloric archetype
 	Longshot (more) (again)
 	Dismal Nitch, Washington
 	The Thingee
 	Baum, Kansas
 	Corn
 	Betty
 	Barrie, Kansas
 	The Albony Avenue Sanitarium and several of its residents
 	Innocence, broadly
 	The Wuggly Ump, by Edward Gorey
 	Love
 	Immortal X-Men
 	Nathaniel Essex and several significant clones thereof
 	Defining Mister Sinister
 	Making Charles Xavier sympathetic
 	Reset phrases
 	Eternals
 	The 10th Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence
 	Many people to whom we are grateful

NEXT EPISODE: X-Men: Liberators



NOTE: If you want to avoid Immortal X-Men spoilers in our interview with Kieron Gillen, you can skip to 01:38:50 for the Corbeau Awards!

Special thanks to:

 	Matt Hunter
 	Dylan Higgins
 	Al Kennedy
 	Max Carleton
 	Kieron Gillen
 	Tea Fougner
 	Anna Stokes
 	All of our patrons
 	All of you listening, always &lt;3

"Sinister Is Cloning This Town" performed by Steve and Erin Pence



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435 – Giant-Size Special #12 (feat. Kieron Gillen)

In which the X-Men turn 35; we pause to celebrate the death of Henry Kissinger; Jay is a space nerd; Marrow hang-dries her delicates; space shuttles are not rockets; the band gets back together; and the Danger Room isn’t the first piece of X-tech to get sentience and a robot body.

X-PLAINED

 	How Excalibur got a Blackbird
 	Uncanny X-Men #360
 	X-Men #80
 	Many callbacks
 	The Benassi Rocket
 	The Cassini Probe
 	The All-New, Slightly Off X-Men
 	The Grey King (Addison Falk)
 	Chaos and/or Xhaos (Dan Dash)
 	Mercury
 	Rapture (Sister Joy)
 	Crux (Cristal Lemiuex)
 	Landslide (Lee Broder)
 	The Founder
 	Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau (again)
 	The Mutant Defense Net
 	Heroic narration
 	Lack of spacefaring continuity
 	Friendship
 	Technology
 	Costumes
 	All-New All-Different Dungeons & Dragons

NEXT EPISODE: GIANT-SIZE WINTER SPECIAL #10



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434 – Return to Cape Citadel

In which we take a retrospective look at X-Factor and Excalibur: where the series began, where they went, and what’s in store after the ends of their first volumes.

X-PLAINED:

 	What Rictor’s been up to
 	X-Factor
 	Excalibur

NEXT EPISODE: A Corbeau cameo!



The visual companion to this episode is scattered through the last eight years of visual companions, mostly under the X-Factor and Excalibur tags.

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433 – Looking Back at Looking Back

In which we reach the end of Larry Hama’s run on Generation X; Gaia remains remarkably normal for someone who has spent millennia chained up alone in a citadel; Synch practices radical forgiveness; we ponder the nature of Emma Frost and Sean Cassidy’s relationship; and Forge is extra unqualified to lecture on ethics.

432 – Weird Little Adventures

No notes. (Generation X Underground Special #1)

In which Synch is a more versatile character than he originally got credit for; “eep” and “eek” are likewise underused; space makes everything better; Nate Grey is the proto-himbo; and if you can decipher the secret code in this episode, you, too, can win a Silver Surfer jet ski!

X-PLAINED:

 	Diablo
 	Generation X Underground Special
 	X-Men Unlimited #30
 	X-Man: All Saints Day
 	Jim Mahfood
 	Skin’s video-game preferences
 	Strange superpowers
 	Poster pirates
 	Visual representations of the passage of time
 	“Banshee’s Angels”
 	Charlie’s Angels
 	The infamous donut-day riots
 	Perfect costumes
 	Adequate restraints for small children
 	The raw power of funk
 	Generation X vs. the Beat Generation
 	The greatest disco event in the universe
 	Nate Grey
 	Some kid named Jerome
 	Countess Absynthia Von Mort
 	Transylvania
 	Dr. Cindy’s Castle
 	The state of Phoenix affairs
 	The color bar at the top of the page in ‘90s comics

NEXT EPISODE: Generation X suits up!



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431 – Doctor Jennifer Murder’s Drop-In Deathatorium

In which birds have no business in sex dreams; feelings are complicated and allegories are imperfect; Mystique made some valid points; Psycho-Man is good at UI; Callisto was right; and the label “Omega-level mutant” actually kind of makes sense.

430 – The Bad Feelings Box

Dracularmy (X-Men Unlimited #21)

In which you should stop hatin’, there’s a big difference between fill-ins and filler, Snow Valley needs higher Ferris wheel standards, Todd DeZago must really hate video rental clerks, and we’re all monsters - some of us just smell better than others.

X-PLAINED:

 	Strong Guy’s hellacious history
 	The nature and purpose of X-Men Unlimited
 	X-Men Unlimited #20-21
 	Rock Trolls (Chambliss, Nettles, and Munson)
 	What Asgard was up to in 1998
 	Magik vs magic
 	The Snow Valley Harvest Festival
 	Jubilation Lee, one of the guys
 	Eagles vs Hats
 	Fatman, Beardlady-o, Stickman-o, & Frogman-o
 	Tic Tac Toe fundamentals
 	Angry mobs
 	Paige Guthrie, Angry Mom
 	The many potential applications of Husk’s powers
 	Falls Edge, VA vs Eagle Ridge, WV
 	Payphones & video rental stores
 	X-friends
 	Rutland, VT (again)
 	Melvin J. Weals
 	Helen Back
 	The Donnybrook Country Club
 	Cat Fancier & Motorcycle Conventions
 	The Shi’ar Wardrobe Transmogrifier
 	Steel (the Shaq one)
 	The worst pun we’ve ever seen in a comic
 	Earth: the Hipster Planet
 	Which X-Men throw the best and/or wildest Halloween parties
 	Fan-casting X-voices

NEXT EPISODE: The X-Men team up with the Fantastic Four!



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429 – Slightly Sticky

Love and chaos. (Excalibur #125)

In which you shouldn’t invite nazis to your wedding, there’s a lot of multiverse, Captain Britain and Meggan are pretty heteronormative but make it work, everybody forgot Feron, and the next husband will be Gatecrasher’s.

X-PLAINED:

 	Captain Britain varieties
 	The history of Brian Braddock and Meggan Puceanu, abridged
 	Excalibur #124-125
 	Mutants most likely to jump out of a cake
 	The Crazy Gang (again)
 	Meggan’s crush on Colossus
 	Colossus’s guilt about Meggan’s crush on Colossus
 	A surprise bridal shower
 	The return of Captain UK
 	Brian Braddock’s teetotaling techniques
 	Mimic’s ever-changing facial hair
 	Glorious, glorious chaos
 	Poor, poor Feron
 	Multiple awkward conversations
 	The return of Widget and also everyone else
 	Lightning Force (dammit)
 	A lengthy but not exhaustive list of Captains Britain
 	So many cameos
 	...Seriously, so many cameos
 	Dai Thomas’s anti-iron
 	Shockingly healthy communication
 	Bouquet brawls and garter gar-nage
 	A bittersweet ending
 	Nightcrawler’s best outfit
 	The universe where the X-Men X-Plain Jay & Miles
 	Our hypothetical post-finale Excalibur lineup

NEXT EPISODE: The return of X-Factor! Kind of!



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428 – Naked in a Cake

In which we have grown to love Adam Pollina; the Vanisher is delightfully awful; Ekaterina Gryaznova gets a new look; Domino rejoins X-Force; superheroes actually have a conversation instead of fighting; Cannonball rejoins X-Force; we don’t even remember recording this one; and something cool is coming (stay tuned).

427 – Standard Deviation

In which the Shi’ar have zero chill; Bishop and Deathbird do space opera; we travel to the far-future year of 2018; Alanna Nerimani stretches the definition of “bird”; Deathbird is the cool aunt; Bishop needs a break from dark futures; and Bishop and Sauron have an intimate encounter.

426 – A Gift from the Lower Regions

In which moose are nothing to mess with; Cyclops requests a reality check; Bachalo does Kirby; Rogue absorbs a catchphrase; and the Shadow King needs a villain song.

425 – Shooting the Moose

In which everything is Havok’s fault; Jay is a bad influence; Polaris makes some valid points; Jamie Madrox is the Bobby Drake of X-Factor; and X-Factor vol. 1 ends with a bang.

424 – Times Change

In which subtlety is not Sabra’s strong point; Moira takes a vacation; Meggan broods; you should take care in referencing the Dark Phoenix Saga; Excalibur may or may not shave Mimic; and Captain Britain is a silly man.

X-PLAINED:

 	Ghosts
 	Excalibur #121-123
 	The Mutant Underground
 	Empathic recon
 	An extremely disgruntled kiss
 	Kitty’s new costume
 	Several of Legion’s personalities
 	A mysterious disk
 	A very fancy trash can and/or ice cream maker
 	Ice cream of Cloud City
 	A good dog
 	Remains of Operation Zero Tolerance
 	The devolution of Douglock
 	Mimic (Calvin Rankin)
 	Mimic’s facial hair
 	Some Prime Sentinels
 	Wedding planning
 	Liking parts of things
 	Villains who want to marry Storm
 	Maddy Pryor

NEXT EPISODE: The end of X-Factor!



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Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here!

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