In this last episode of the Married to Doctors Podcast, Lara shares her hopes for her listeners in what they have gained from her show. Lara has increased the dialogue for physician families and physician spouses and became a voice for the physician family community.  "I hope that throughout this podcast you have been able to go from pessimistic thinking, or a little bit more on the pessimistic side, to the optimistic side, as you have seen more possibilities for you and your physician marriage." -Lara McElderry   

#210: Last Episode

In this podcast episode, Lara chats with Michelle Streeter, an IVF Support Coach, about their fertility journey while on the medical journey. Michelle shares her experiences and tips from what she has learned while navigating IVF, med school, and residency.   "One of the things about being married to doctors is that you have to learn to navigate that uncertainty and the shifts and changes that come with all the things. It's not to say I didn't do it begrudgingly sometimes, but that is part of the thing we did or didn't sign up for, right?" -Michelle Streeter

#209: Navigating IVF, Med School, and Residency

In this episode, Lara chats with Vanessa and Dr. Jeep Naum about intimacy and connection in medical marriages. The Naums help physicians save their marriage, family, and bank account.  "I think the big part was we needed to get to the place where we were talking with each other. And that he could connect with my feelings of, 'Hey, look. I need help. We're in this family life together. I know your job is extremely important, but I need help too.'" -Vanessa Naum

#208: Intimacy and Connection in Medical Marriages

In this flashback episode, Lara talks with Donna Rovito, editor of Physician Family Magazine. Donna shares some of her experiences being in a medical marriage for over 30 years and how the medical profession has evolved over time. Lara and Donna also discuss the importance of support for physician spouses and the best marriage advice Donna says she ever received.  “As the spouse of a physician, there are so many ways that you can contribute to your community and to your own well-being that there’s no reason for anybody to sit at home and feel bad and feel lonely because there is a huge support group out here and how ever you find that, however you find us, we’re here.” -Donna Rovito

#207: Embracing the Realities of Being Married to a Doctor

This replay episode jumps back to an earlier episode you may have missed if you are new here! Lara talks with marriage and family therapist Yasman Mostajeran about the relationship characteristics that often cause affairs, how to avoid attachment issues, and how to regain trust in a relationship that has suffered a betrayal.  "The affair is a symptom of something happening in the relationship, so this is your opportunity to either rewrite your marriage and create a whole new story together and make it so much better, so much stronger than you were before, or throw your hands up in the air and give up and just let the relationship die.” - Yasman Mostajeran

#206: Affairs in Physician Marriages

Enjoy this episode on discussing the ways in which surgery life is and is not compatible with raising a family.   For more on the membership, visit www.marriedtodoctors.com

Surgeon Life and Family Life

Happy Match Week! In this replay episode, Lara speaks with an anonymous couple who share their experience when they did not match to a residency program. They participated in the scramble, applied for research positions, and finally ended up where they needed to be as they embraced the journey. *The couple will be known as Jack and Lisa in this episode. Names are changed for privacy.  “I applied to all the surgical subspecialties. I applied to prelim surgery spots. I applied to prelim medicine spots. I applied to anesthesia spots. I applied to EM spots. All of them. Literally every single open spot. Like I said, I think it was over 100 spots that I applied to.  So, anyways, it was a really stressful time. Very hard time.” -Anonymous 

#204: We Didn't Match and We're Okay

Conversations around sex and intimacy can be awkward and difficult. But it can lead to a deeper connection. In this episode, Lara shares why talking about sex in your marriage is important, questions to think about, and how to bring up the conversation with your significant other. Inside the Married to Doctors Membership they will be doing a deep dive into sex and intimacy. Interested in joining in and learning from this conversation? Come join us inside the membership!  "You matter. Your thoughts and feelings matter. Your opinion on your sex life matters. And it's ok to have that conversation with your spouse." -Lara McElderry

#203: Conversations Around Sex and Intimacy

In this episode, Lara chats with Ed Coambs, a Couples Therapist specializing in Financial Therapy, on how attachment styles, childhood trauma, and more affects our medical marriage, specifically from a financial standpoint.   "One of the things we talked about is that we have different brains with different expectations. And as adults you would think we would think about this on a regular basis. But most couples don't really think about this as completely as they can. They don't always recognize just how different each person is in the couple. That you are inevitably going to have differences. And it's not that you have differences is the problem. It's how you work through them that matters." - Ed Coambs

#202: Financial Therapy in Medical Marriages

Why should you work toward believing new things? Well, it's more than making resolutions. It is about becoming your best self. In this episode, Lara shares various phrases to be mindful of when working on believing new things.  We all have an idea of who we have been, who we currently are, and who we want to be. Tune in to this podcast episode to learn more about believing new things, how to be ok with where you are, and how to get to where you want to go. It all starts with a belief.   "I just want you to know that right now where you are, is ok. Because the more you can feel ok with where you start, the less judgement you're going to take in to making changes about yourself." -Lara McElderry

#201: It All Starts with a Belief

In this episode, Lara chats with fellow life coach Dr. Michelle Ofreneo about various principles that can help your physician family. Dr. Ofreneo also shares their love story, how she came to decide to become a life coach, and more.   "I think it's just you know this instruction book of these beliefs that we've had just from the past you're conditioned to think. That ya know, this is what a family is supposed to look like. This is what my spouse is supposed to do. Or I think when we see that that's optional and we let go of that, we then allow our spouse to be who they're going to be and truly accept and love them for who they already are rather than, almost like, I heard another coach say this, like almost like cheat on them with this idealized version of who they are." -Dr. Michelle Ofreneo, MD

#200: Implementing Principles to Help Your Physician Family

Communication. This is one of the most common tips given when it comes to marriage advice. In this episode, Lara discusses a few different ways we communicate with each other, particularly when our medical spouse shares good news with us.  "It is a beautiful feeling. If you've ever had that kind of support in your life, than you know what I'm talking about. When someone is really excited for you and the work that you are doing, and they are supportive of you." -Lara McElderry

#199: Don't Be a Joy Thief

In this episode, Lara discusses four thoughts for a more thoughtful holiday season. As you listen, consider what you are thinking, why you are thinking it, and why you believe what you do. Hope these thoughts help make your Christmas a more enjoyable holiday this year!  "As people in relationships with physicians, we are multitasking. We have a lot going on, particularly if you're running your family and your household, as well. You're pulling off this holiday, and I just want to give you the option to consider a 'no'. Sometimes, a 'no' means more of 'yes' to the things that you really want to do." -Lara McElderry

#198: Four Thoughts for a More Thoughtful Holiday Season

In this episode, Lara talks with Wenny Lin about career resilience when married to a doctor. They discuss how to keep your career going throughout the medical journey. Wenny has some stellar wisdom to share on this topic.  "Hey, maybe you have to take a pay cut because you've moved to a cheaper place to live. Maybe you have to take a less prestigious position now because you're the default parent. But these are all temporary. And that for every temporary challenge there could be new opportunities that arise. So I think that its good to go back to the big picture. What's important to you and what you're doing and what you have control over to achieve your goals." -Wenny Lin

#196: Career Resilience When Married To A Doctor

Lara discusses five common thinking traps that people fall into. This episode will help you discover the power of the pause to help you through difficult situations. Utilizing these tips will help you become more in tune with your thoughts and thinking patterns so you can show up as the person you want to be in life. Don't get stuck in these common thinking traps!  "I always like to say that when I encourage you to be curious, I don't want you to play dumb, like you have no idea ever. But, I do want you to show up with genuine curiosity. Like, 'Hey I know you love me, so why did you say that?'" -Lara McElderry

#195: 5 Common Thinking Traps

We all have the desire to feel seen and heard by our partners. In this episode, Lara speaks with Dr. Wally Goddard about bids for connection in marriages and relationships and how we can learn to correctly interpret those. Enjoy this replay from one of the first episodes recorded on Married to Doctors!  "More often than we realize, we're making bids for connection with the people we care about. We're saying essentially, 'I'd like you to be part of my life.' And unaware that a bid has been made we often turn away, we're distracted, or we turn against. We say, 'I don't have time for that.'" -Dr. Wally Goddard

#194: Bids for Connection

This episode is all about puppy training! Lara shares how six simple puppy rules can apply to relationships and relationships with ourselves.  "Because I'm a marriage coach, and I talk about this stuff a lot, it's always on my mind. And I thought, Oh isn't interesting, how the same things I'm learning about puppy training go right a long with a marriage." -Lara McElderry

#193: Lessons on Relationships and Love from Puppy Training

In this episode, Lara talks with Kristi and Blade Hargiss as their life has been turned upside down since Blade was diagnosed with cancer during his fourth year of medical school. We discuss how they are getting though this as a couple, a family, and a medical student.  "I remember when he first came home and he said that there was potential for cancer, it was like 95 plus percent chance that he would have it, but they didn't have the full report back. I felt like I had been hit with a bucket of ice. Among everything else that we had on our plates, this was just like, are you kidding me? More? How are we supposed to handle this?" -Kristi Hargiss

#192: Cancer in Medical School

In this episode, Lara discusses the Me, Marriage, and Medicine course starting this October and what to expect.  She also explores the topic of anger.  "Is this really anger? Or maybe this is more resentful? Maybe what I really feel is guilt, ashamed, grief, fear, entitlement, victimization, fatigue, injustice, anxiety, hurt, or offended. Can you see how all of things fall under anger? But they actually mean different things." -Lara McElderry

#191: Me, Marriage, and Medicine

In this episode, Lara discusses how we can be kind to ourselves. She looks at this topic through the lens of parenting and your physical appearance, but it can be applied to every situation.  "And I also hope that you can love yourself. Not in an egotistical way, but in a way where you are speaking kindly to yourself. You know we want others to love us, to love our hair, to love our parenting. But, many time they do love us and they give us those compliments, and we're the ones that can't accept it because we haven't been kind to ourselves." -Lara McElderry

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