Time for the most traditional holiday celebration: A science lesson.

The Episodic Table Of Elements Holiday Special

America's worst radioactive accident isn't Three Mile Island, and the Nazi nuclear physicist wasn't assassinated by the famous baseball player.

92. Uranium: Two Untold Tales (Live At Harvard)

Sometimes we need a quiet moment in order to step back and look at the bigger picture.

91. Protactinium: Decolonize Science

Sure, thorium could provide practically limitless clean energy, but then we couldn't build weapons of mass destruction.

90. Thorium: Bright Lights, Big City

We all know that radioactive rocks glow in the dark, except they actually don't, except for when they actually do.

89. Actinium: The Windup… And The Pitchblende

Out of all the characters who encounter radium in this episode, the only one to emerge unscathed is the guy who comes face-to-face with Satan.

88. Radium: Several Sordid Affairs

You don't have to have a degree to do science, but it helps.

87. Francium: Nothing To Do With Cats

You know something's amiss when you set off the radiation alarms while walking in to the nuclear power plant.

86. Radon: It’s Coming From Inside The House

The story of astatine takes us to Alabama, Dacca, Romania, Vienna, and California, but definitely not Switzerland.

85. Astatine: Pathological Science

Sadly, it's no longer possible to purchase this lethally radioactive element for fifteen cents and a cereal boxtop.

84. Polonium: The Distinguished Alumna Of Warsaw’s Flying University

The periodic table shows the natural patterns and trends among the elements. Bismuth does not abide.

83. Bismuth: The Friendly Oddball

We just can't seem to stop chasing the sweet, sweet taste of element 82.

82. Lead: Irrational Self-Interest

In which we learn how reading mystery novels might very well save a life.

81. Thallium: It Rides A Pale Horse

Even if you hate tuna, have flawless teeth, and only use digital thermometers, humans have historically not been shy about getting a mouthful of mercury.

80. Mercury: Fatally Toxic And Probably In Your Mouth

All other metals step aside, because today we deal with the king of elements.

79. Gold: Lump Sum

Sometimes, being set in stone isn't permanent enough.

78. Platinum: A Tous Les Temps, A Tous Les Peuples

Alvarez noticed a great disturbance in the rocks, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

77. Iridium: T. Rex And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

This entire episode serves as cautionary advice to anyone seeking to add osmium to their element collection.

76. Osmium: It Stinks!

Witness an incredible, unbreakable bond between two who couldn't be more alike. We'll also learn about a married couple.

75. Rhenium: A Love Of Two Brains

All right, everybody settle down. Welcome to the weekly meeting of the National Association Of W Lovers.

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