Long-held resentments are the trickiest. Sobriety removes the anesthesia that kept old pain muted, so these resentments start peeking out of the chaos as the numbing wears off. Time fossilized them into the foundation of my life. Step Four gives those resentments a voice. What do I do with resentments when I can’t talk to the person? When they’re unreachable, unavailable, or no longer alive, closure doesn’t have to be a conversation. It can be an internal shift.Step Four pulls me out of a mental courtroom. In my head, every resentment turns into a trial with a judge, jury, prosecutor, and defendant trying to prove who’s guilty. But Step Four acknowledges what was threatened: my safety, identity, self-worth, etc. And then I get to notice my behavioral patterns. Holding on to a resentment simply re-injures myself, repeating the same wound. The “magical” part of Step Four is asking what my role was when my brain keeps insisting I’m only the victim. Step Four lets me look back just long enough to extract the lesson, put it in my pocket, and walk forward. That’s where serenity is born. I’m loosening my grip on what no longer serves me, freeing up the energy I need for recovery, and rewiring my reactions.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #StepFour #AARecovery #SobrietyJourney #OneDayAtATime #step4 

Step 4: Decades of Resentments

I’m working on Step Four for the second time. That means I think about it and procrastinate, because yes, I have a spreadsheet and avoid actually filling it out.When I list my character defects for Step Four, I’m supposed to focus on the ones I have now that I’m sober. Still, I like to look at what sobriety itself has removed from my life, like lying, recklessness, and insecurity, because it reaffirms my commitment to not picking up a drink. The character flaws that linger, like fear, competitiveness, judgment, and internal conflicts, are the ones I get to bring to my sponsor and into meetings.As I went through the list today, it was easy to see how drinking had been my attempt to numb fear, anxiety, and depression. Decades of my behavior were rooted in chaos. No wonder I did things I’m ashamed of. I was building my life on a cracked foundation.In sobriety, I walk toward what scares me instead of avoiding it, and that’s helped me rebuild my self-esteem. I still work every day on doing the next right thing, even if it’s just folding the laundry that’s been sitting there long enough to qualify as a roommate.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #StepFour #AARecovery #SobrietyJourney #OneDayAtATime #step4 

Step 4: Lets Take My Inventory

The first thing I do I the morning when my eyes open is remember that I’m a grateful recovering alcoholic and stroke survivor. I need to accept that before my feet hit the floor, so that I don’t fight what’s in front of me that day. Acceptance simplifies things. It clears my mind and quiets obsessive thinking, giving me the freedom to think instead of being held hostage by my own mind. Each day offers a new opportunity to begin again, but only if I practice that acceptance first.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #Acceptance #Serenity #RecoveryJourney #MentalWellbeing #strokesurvivor 

Waking Up in Acceptance: Start the Day With Serenity

Being wrong can make me feel unworthy, as if it says something about me as a person. We learn early on that being right equals competence, so we cling to that at the cost of curiosity and connection with others. But, being wrong is not a personal failure, it’s a part of learning. Every huge lesson I’ve  learned came from being very very wrong. When I allow myself to be wrong, I am open to new information and a more honest relationship with myself and others.Letting go of the need to be right softens everything. Conversations become less about winning and more about understanding. You can change your mind without betraying yourself. It’s okay to be wrong. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #EmotionalIntelligence #MindsetShift #GrowthOverPerfection

Its OK To Be Wrong: Being Wiser Instead of Right

Without rest, identity becomes performance. How true this has rung for me, both in my career and stroke recovery, as I rebuild my identity in this new broken body. I have a tendency to overdo it - my old boss can vouch for me. I pour myself into my podcast, hobbies, and new “brilliant” ideas without pause. Although these all start with purpose and intention, I’m not always acting from purpose. Some call it being a “workaholic.” I call it crossing the line from identity to performance. It’s where productivity becomes priority rather than purpose. Restraint brings me back to why I’m doing what I’m doing in the first place. In my stroke recovery, restraint protects my physical well-being, minimizing my chronic pain. Restraint is leaving something in the tank, honoring my limits, and choosing sustainability over intensity. Restraint, for me, is wisdom in action rather than simply awareness, and it’s how I stay well enough to show up again tomorrow.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #restraint #StrokeRecovery #Disability #ChronicPain #Recovery

More On Restraint: When Identity Becomes Performance

Take a walk with me today with Autumn through Lake of the Woods as I discuss what restraint feels like for me.Restraint has always been hard for me, but after my stroke it became a necessity. My alcoholism felt like a lack of restraint until I learned that it is a disease. Today lack of restraint costs me physical well-being. When I don’t stop in time, or I do more than I should, the pain in my head becomes unbearable. I’m aware of my limits, but awareness alone isn’t enough. What I need is the wisdom to act before I cross the line, not after. Wisdom is choosing to stop while I still feel okay, instead of waiting until I’ve gone too far.More tomorrow on restraint, but today I wanted to talk through simply what it feels like in both sobriety and in stroke recovery. As always, the topic of restraint can apply to us all. Give it a listen and see if you can relate.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #StrokeRecovery #LivingWithDisability #ChronicPainLife #RecoveryWisdom #ListeningToMyBody #restraint

Restraint: What Does It Feel Like?

Anger was an unexpected emotion after my stroke. It’s a result of fear, loss of control, frustration, exhaustion, and daily pain. Anger is the wrap around the primary emotion at its core. Underneath it is grief, fear, and the uncertainty of living in a body and mind that don’t behave the way they used to.Anger is a choice, even though it feels very much like I’m a victim when I feel it. Even when I don’t act on it, holding onto it affects my attitude and  pulls me away from “sober” thinking. Relief comes faster when I pause, breathe, cry, share, and accept what I can’t change. Yes, I cry when I’m angry, and I know I’m not unique in that.And when I feel distant from serenity, I try to remember that I’m the one who moved, not God. Choosing hope is always part of recovery, but man, it’s hard some days.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #StrokeRecovery #SoberThinking #MentalHealthRecovery #ChronicPain #ChoosingHope

Anger is a Choice: And I Cry When I’m Angry

The same tools that keep me sober help me thrive post-stroke despite chronic pain. I heard some meaningful slogans over the past 24 hours that help me:“Does this thought or action bring me closer to or further away from a drink.” I replace drink with God, pain, relief, or anything that moves me in the right direction.“When I approach a decision do I walk through the door first or do I hold the door for God and let him enter before me?” Consider whether I am consistently and constantly connected to my higher power in daily life.“The only thing between me and a drink is God.” Again, I can replace drink with pain because often my pain can be minimized by doing the next right thing, which I innately know when I am staying in the present.To hear more great one-liners that have inspired me in recovery listen to this episode. 🎧Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #StrokeRecovery #SobrietyJourney #ChronicPainLife #MentalHealthRecovery #OneDayAtATime

Stroke Recovery Tools: Emotional and Spiritual Relief

I believe and doubt as much as I need to. My living amends to myself is choosing today what makes tomorrow’s me happier and healthier, gently leading the fearful parts of me when they don’t want to show up.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #RecoveryJourney #EmotionalSobriety #MentalHealthAwareness #LivingAmends #PersonalGrowth 

Belief, Doubt, and Choice: Approaching Each Day

Wandering was how my loneliness showed itself long before I had words for it. I had some shameful memories bubbles today, and I turned them into useful lessons by opening my mouth and hitting “Record”.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #SobrietyJourney #AddictionRecovery #MentalHealthAwareness #EmotionalSobriety #RecoveryStory

The End of Wandering: Learning To Not Regret the Past

My loneliness was a cunning unwellness I tried to outrun, numb, and distract myself from. But the absence of feeling at home inside myself began to heal when I removed alcohol from my life.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #SobrietyJourney #AddictionRecovery #HealingFromWithin #MentalHealthAwareness #EmotionalHealing

Loneliness: State of Mental and Emotional Unwellness

Applying my recovery program at work taught me tolerance, confidence, and acceptance without needing anyone else to change. What changed was my attitude.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #Recovery #Sobriety #AARecovery #EmotionalRecovery #PersonalGrowth 

Recovery in Real Life: Practicing the Program at Work

Trauma lives in my nervous system because it was in survival mode for far too long. I’m not broken. I’m gently teaching my loyal nervous system that the danger has passed.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. https://youtu.be/NUlnxCsRJD4Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #traumarecovery #nervoussystemhealing #healingfromtrauma  #ptsdrecovery  #somatichealing

Loyal, Not Broken: Teaching My Nervous System It’s Safe

Step 12 is waking up as the same imperfect human grateful for the new day, choosing willingness over old instincts, setting my problems down when no action can be taken, and living the Steps out loud so someone else knows they don’t have to do this alone.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #Step12Living #RecoveryInPractice #SpiritualGrowthInProgress #OneDayAtATime #ExperienceStrengthHope

Living Step 12: Ongoing Spiritual Growth

Reads & Recovery is back! I invite you to read along with me this month as we explore The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk, and weave its insights into our ongoing recovery conversations this month. Keep up with the Reads & Recovery Book Club all year long at https://recoverydailypodcast.com/reads-and-recovery/.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #RecoveryPodcast #ReadsAndRecovery #TheBodyKeepsTheScore #NervousSystemHealing #RecoveryJourney

Let’s Get Cookin’: Reads and Recovery Is Back

Progress is forward movement without a speed limit, bringing the body and letting the mind follow, rewarding myself for the tiniest little successes.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling #MakingProgress #ProgressNotPerfection #RecoveryIsMovement #BringTheBody #SlowHealing

Making Progress: Bring the Body, the Mind Will Follow

#RecoveryDailyPodcast #AddictionRecovery #SobrietyJourney #NervousSystemHealing #EmotionalSafety #MentalHealthRecovery #GentleRecovery #TraumaInformedRecovery #HealingInRecovery #OneDayAtATime

Wanting Is Not Needing: Turning Maslow’s Heirarchy Right-Side Up

The holidays tend to resurrect old thought patterns about family roles, expectations, memories, and emotions that don’t usually carry as much weight throughout the rest of the year. Whether we’re surrounded by people or spending the season alone, the pressure can feel overwhelming and is very personal. In recovery that pressure can be like a tea kettle ready to scream, but we have tools to face it differently. 12 Days of Christmas in Recovery is a framework using principles from my sobriety program to help us stay merry, sober, and grateful through the holidays.These twelve tools include familiar phrases like one day at a time, letting go of expectations, and seeking to understand rather than be understood. Each one helps soften the emotional intensity of the season and protect our relationships and sobriety. The goal is waking up the next day sober, clear-headed, and with our integrity intact. That, to me, is a very Merry Christmas indeed! Listen to this special holiday episode of the Recovery Daily Podcast: 12 Days of Christmas in Recovery: A Merry, Sober, and Grateful ChristmasListen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org #RecoveryDailyPodcast #HolidayRecovery #SoberHolidays #OneDayAtATime #EmotionalSobriety #SobrietySupport #RecoveryTools #GratefulInRecovery #AARecovery #MentalWellness

12 Days of Christmas in Recovery: A Merry, Sober, and Grateful Christmas

When I was newly sober and new to post-stroke life, I thought I’d never recover from either. Years later when someone praises my courage, I find it difficult to respond because it never felt like courage. It felt scary, uncomfortable, and impossible. The people I looked up to back then felt like superheroes, and I couldn’t imagine ever being seen that way. What looks like courage from the outside feels like fearful willingness on the inside.Willingness was the first building block for me in recovery. I showed up scared, followed suggestions I didn’t understand, stayed when I wanted to run, and asked for help without confidence. That willingness opened the door to faith, and over time, faith quietly built strength. Courage, I’ve realized, is willingness that’s been practiced. Strength is consistently staying.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org #RecoveryDailyPodcast #WillingnessInRecovery #SobrietyJourney #StrokeRecovery #EmotionalSobriety #FaithAndRecovery #HealingInProgress #RecoveryCommunity #OneDayAtATime #StrengthThroughWillingness

Willingness vs Courage: The First Building Block of Recovery

I live in recovery, and whether we talk about it or not, we’re all recovering from something. I talk a lot about sobriety and stroke recovery, but at its core, my podcast is about living better while managing mental wellness and waking up curious about the day instead of dreading it. People say the phrase, “I’ve finally arrived.” That’s always impressed me. I was never going to get where I was going with a state of mind where every achievement immediately pointed me toward the next goal. There was always another milestone ahead, another version of myself I thought I needed to become, and very little time spent actually resting in where I was. Arriving.After my stroke changed my destination without my permission, the future I planned disappeared and so did hope. Sobriety taught me how to live one day at a time, and my stroke taught me how to let the present moment be enough. Spiritual progress is how often I consistently, constantly, and honestly practice acceptance, willingness, and trust. I don’t know where I’m going, and that matters less to me now than being grateful for where I am.Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and YouTube. Rather listen on Apple Podcasts? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/recovery-daily-podcast/id1693924779 Visit my Etsy shop, and join my creative journey at Recovery Upcycling. https://www.etsy.com/shop/RecoveryUpcycling To learn more about vestibular disorders visit https://vestibular.org #RecoveryDailyPodcast #LivingInRecovery #SpiritualProgress #OneDayAtATime #StrokeRecovery #SobrietyJourney #MentalWellness #AcceptanceAndTrust #HealingInThePresent #RecoveryCommunity

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