It’s Super Tuesday, SaysWhovia! How are YOU celebrating? A party? A casual gathering? A quiet cry in the closet? All of these are valid! And who will win? No one knows! Except, everyone!Meanwhile, Maureen reveals the joys of living in New York City once again, Dan gets a new fencepost, and COVID is over! More importantly, plans for Disney on Election Day are being finalized. It’s really happening. Dan and Maureen are going to ride the Haunted Mansion as the results come in, and then Says Whovia will…go on forever. And ever. And ever.Get in the Doom Buggy, SaysWhovia! It’s all really happening! 
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FOG OF JUDGEMENT

This week, Maureen spends a lot of time convincing Dan it’s time to get serious about making Disney plans for the election while Dan falls gently to pieces. It’s that time. Get in line with us, SaysWhovia.Note: this episode contains a brief discussion of the death of Aaron Bushnell. There is no detailed discussion of physical events, but the significance is discussed for a short time. 
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TICK TOCK DOLE WHIP O'CLOCK

Brrrr. Shut the door! There’s a cold winter wind blowing. All is snug and safe here in the Says Who fort. Dan’s son is recovering from COVID and has had adventures in a hotel room. Mauren wants to get right to the news! 2024 is ramping up! Trump is making shiny shoes because he owes SO MUCH MONEY. So much money! Surely these shiny sneakers will fix everything. Seriously, though—he owes all the money. Does he have it? How will he get it? How many shiny shoes will be sell? And what’s with the perfume?Somehow this becomes Dan and Maureen’s Composition 101 workshop, which should probably be a thing.Pencils down, SayWhovia, and hand your papers to the front.
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AN IDEA, A FEELING, AND A HAT

It’s 2024, SaysWhovia. Everything has changed. Dan has too many jobs. Maureen bought a planner. Trump is running against Biden and Biden is running against Trump.Wait…We’ve been on this ride, haven’t we? No matter. We’ll get in line again. And there are always new twists. For example, Dan’s new job is in the MORNING. Maureen’s new planner is DIFFERENT. Trump is threatening to KILL US ALL.It’s still the same, isn't it? Come with us anyway, SayWhovia. We’ll hold your place in line.
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HAUNTED WHITE HOUSE

Maureen is in paradise; Dan is in Chicago. You can probably guess how this is going to go.
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TALE OF THE WHALE

It’s the first big political event of 2024, sort of! It’s the New Hampshire primary, and everyone is excited. Right? Is that excitement? Dan isn’t sure. Ron DeSantis has dropped out of the race, dragging Florida down with him into the swamp, where he will live with sewage and alligators. Trump continues to be on trial. So…is any of this news? Is it news if you knew it already? What to do with this zombie of a year?Enter Maureen, with a plan. She has a plan, everyone. A good plan to fix it all.Gather round, SaysWhovia. Listen to the plan! 
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MAUREEN'S PLAN

Come in! Take a seat her by the fire that Maureen and Dan have made sure to keep burnin’. Have some hot tea. Get a blanket. It’s cold! At least, it is at Dan’s house. For some reason, Maureen’s place is a thousand degrees, her feet are trapped in a footstool, and she can’t see right out of one eye. No matter. No one wants to come into 2024 being able to see all of it. Best to keep it in soft focus.The Iowa caucus has happened! And…um. It happened! Exactly as everyone knew it would! There is literally nothing gained from this exercise! But Dan and Maureen are going to mine it for gems, and end up in a deep discussion about the ways 2024 will bend people psychologically. Maureen looks deep into the abyss. Dan watches, nervously. The fire crackles.And then Maureen has a good idea that Dan may or may not be responding to sarcastically. She can’t tell.Snuggle up, SaysWhovia. It’s a long ride through the snow. Let’s make it cozy!
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IOWA YOU AN EXPLAINATION

Oh hey! Dan and Maureen are swinging into the first week of 2024 with ease and style! Maureen has left behind her dead snake and gotten a fast car back to New York City because things got complicated. Dan dropped his son off at the airport to return to school and is definitely not still crying. But also, VAXXING. Because COVID is back for year four. And would you believe it, it’s infecting people in the SAME EXACT WAY it surges every year. Who would have known.Meanwhile, Trump is in court in Washington DC to try to argue that being President gave him superpowers. It’s not going well. And actual New York City mayor Eric Adams is under fire for a recently unearthed 2009 book about school safety in which he tells the story of taking a loaded gun to school. Or did he? Take a gun to school? Or tell that story to a ghostwriter who got it wrong? Or have a ghostwriter? Or even make the book at all? It’s a study into whether or not books or writers are even real, and Maureen is INTO IT.Also, Dan has to watch three Twilight movies. He can’t edit this out of the notes. These notes were written by a ghost.Booooooo!
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GHOSTWROTER

Welcome to 2024, motherf****rs.
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KEEP BURNIN'

SaysWhovians!The year is RAPIDLY coming to a close, and Maureen and Dan are building a (don't call it a) bunker and stocking it with everything we need to make it through 2024. Yes, it's a VERY SPECIAL Prepisode!  (Note: this was recorded ahead of Maureen heading to England in mid-December) 
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PREPISODE: 2024

Well, it’s that time of year again! Not the holidays—but for Maureen to have a weird medical issue in the middle of a deadline. She’s fine. She had a line. A real line. On her foot. Dan does not believe her.Meanwhile, Dan has a story about a bad man and his bad friends. Not Friends, the show he never watched. These are Evil Friends, and they have ruined a good place. Yes, we have to talk about Elon Musk.But on a bright note, Moms for Liberty is getting their ass handed to them all over the place! This will cheer you right up.It was a real line, SaysWhovia. A real line.
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FOOT LINE

Maureen is trying to take a bath. Maureen is trying to do a lot of things. She is having some trouble, but is not giving up. Dan has advice. Maybe she should take it easy?But that’s not the SaysWhovian way. Maureen is going TO THE MAXX. And so is the subject of today’s story—a little dreamer named George Santos. Keep dreaming, SayWhovia. Then dream bigger. Dream biggest.
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DREAM BIGGEST

Hello, SayWhovia! Did you make it through Thanksgiving? Dan and Maureen did! Mostly! Dan has only part of a car, though. And Maureen is still in Philadelphia. She went to the craft store. She has a tale to tell. Many tales—tales of birds in walls, spiders, slugs—so many creatures. She may never leave Philadelphia. She is trapped forever, like she is in the Phantom Zone.Dan does not want to talk about the news, but Maureen insists on a little, as a treat. So it’s just a little. But it does include the fact that this is the third Trump campaign Says Who will be covering, and that fact hits Dan hard. Three times. That’s a franchise. But which franchise is it? Star Wars? Scream? Die Hard? The answer is also a bit much for Dan. Again, he only has part of a car.Diplomatic immunity, Says Whovia. It’s been revoked.
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THE FRANCHISE

It's someone's birthday! And someone else is on deadline! And there are nightmares happening in the world. So you know it's a real normal one over in SaysWhovia.
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BIRTHDAYS AND DEADLINES

Today, Dan and Maureen celebrate their favorite holiday: Happy Four Seasons Total Landscaping Day! Yes, it’s been three years since the best day ever.In the present, Maureen is focused on her book. She’s going to make the landing, but what a landing it will be. Dan, meanwhile, has a haunted mouth. And he’s not the only one! Because somewhere out there is an app called Covenant Eyes, and our new Speaker of the House loves it. He uses it with his son. To monitor their mutual porn use. Say it out loud: Covenant Eyes. Now the curse is with you.Meanwhile, Trump is in NYC, and boy, is he chatty! He’s a rambling man. He’s bad at court. Next year is going to be SOMETHING ELSE.Covenant Eyes, Sayswhovia. Covenant Eyes.
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THE EYE OF THE PORN

Oh, hello, SaysWhovian! What a nice costume you have! Dan and Maureen have treats for you! Here’s a Snickers, a Kit Kat, a Reece’s Cup… and also, the news! Which, as you may have noticed, IS SCARY THIS WEEK. Too scary for Halloween.But the most scared person is Mike Pence, who dropped out of the Presidential race because he’s adorable. They were going to kill that guy! Meanwhile, Trump keeps going to court, and the in the UK, there’s a reckoning over COVID. At least, people are swearing at each other a lot. Reckonings!Maureen has candy and a plan for a better life. Also, she may open a cookie and party thing. Dan is encouraging.Would YOU like Maureen to plan your party? BoooOOOoooOOOoook now!
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DE-PENCE

As always, dear listener, news happened after Maureen and Dan finished recording. These two sweet innocent children believed that Tom Emmer would at least make it to a floor vote before dropping out of the speaker's race. Joke's on them.And all of us.Also, lots of people flipping on Trump. Or maybe Rudy. Probably Rudy.
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NUT PUNCHIN SEASON

Today, Dan and Maureen battle a series of seemingly endless recording failures, while everyone’s worst gym teacher, Jim Jordan, tries to become head of Slytherin. And because this is a week of truly horrific news, we talk about self care. For example, Maureen is in PA and has gone to Michael’s craft store. Also, Dan tells a story about getting stuck inside his haunted car.All of this with a microphone balanced on a plastic pumpkin.Get your glue gun, SaysWhovia. Things are getting sticky.
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PODCRAFTING

No, YOU’RE drunk, SaysWhovia.*hic**falls in trash*
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RUDY TUESDAY

October has arrived, and the very first trick or treat bags have appeared on the streets of NYC! Trump is on trial, and he is ordering a lot of McDonalds. Lots and lots of McDonalds. He has a lot of feelings to eat as he risks losing all his towers. Yes, trial season has started. It comes earlier every year, doesn’t it? They’re even starting to flip down in Georgia.Meanwhile, the House is losing its Speaker. Large-headed predator Matt Gaetz is leading the charge. It’s all quite a lot, and Maureen wants to know what to make of it all. Dan does not have answers.Get in your bin, SaysWhovia. The waters are rising.
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