A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here. Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:AssertivenessFeedbackManagement SkillsFive episodes you might listen to are:#47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors#18 Holding People Accountable#138 Managing Disruptive Executives#127 Managing Performance: Up or Out#65 Sorting & LabelingA free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others. Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.Grab a free transcript of the show here. Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!#podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges  #behaviormanagement  #leadershiptips   #leadershipdevelopment  

Finding Management Courage

A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.” Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:The Disruptive Executive – Part OneThe Disruptive Executive – Part TwoDon’t Take It PersonallyHandling Defensive BehaviorsThe High-Maintenance ExecutiveLooking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership. Happy, healthy, safe new year!

5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists

Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture. Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Looking for a transcript of the show?  Read it here.More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:For WomenPerception – how you perceive othersRelationship BuildingHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:188 - Boundaries210 - How to grow your self-management67 - “I hate politics”142 - The Mindful Executive121 - Your Goodwill Bank AccountOur monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.Let us know how we can support you.Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

Leading with Political Savvy – Part 2

A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do? Download our free Political Style Chart here.“The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics. Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:Self-TalkLeadershipFor WomenHere are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:187 - Agreeable Disagreement215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire192 - Pursuing a Promotion207 - Tough Conversations67 - “I Hate Politics”Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.JAPAN!Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! tom@essentialcomm.comLet us know how we can support you.Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership,  be well! And thanks! 

Leading with Political Savvy – Part 1

A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.Tools for teams abound in this episode. The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea;Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people;Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you;Develop your comfort with disagreement.The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsLeading TeamsManagement SkillsSpecific episodes that will help you develop your team are:Facilitating Open DialogueHow Teams FightLeadership Behavior in MeetingsPower Tools for Teams: Plus/DeltaQuestions as LeadershipTaming Meetings Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show.Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!#podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding    #EffectiveTeams  #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership   

Building Consensus – Savvy or Sin?

A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship. The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online. Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:Communication SkillsManaging YourselfRelationship BuildingFive episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:ConflictThe Conflict ConversationCreating Safety for Hard TalksA Difficult ConversationResolving ConflictEvery month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show!Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks! 

The Conflict Resolution Wheel

A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most. This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:Conquer catastrophic thinking;Use fewer words;Value relationships as highly as results;Don’t take anything personally;Commitment to Development;Reflection;Speak for Yourself.Resources to develop those last three:Commitment to DevelopmentThe Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skillsFour Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills thenschel@essentialcomm.com – my email address if you want help thinking about your own developmentThe Ability to ReflectMindfulness ResourcesBuilding Self-AwarenessSpeak for YourselfThe Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word”Episodes to build assertion:Showing TeethThe Voice of AuthorityAssertion v Aggression This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories:Executive PresenceLeadershipSelf-TalkFive episodes to help you with different skills are:Building Empathy“Don’t Take Anything Personally”The Executive ExecutivePersonal ConnectionsShort Sounds ConfidentOur monthly email has links to more resources. You can sign up here.All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin.Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

Essential Skills that Shaped a Leader

At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met. This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here. Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable. To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.  To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:Communication SkillsManagement Skills Relationship BuildingFive specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:7 Steps to Stop Emotional HijacksBe Impeccable with Your Word Handling Defensive BehaviorsManaging Bad BehaviorManaging Disruptive ExecutivesSign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode.Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.    Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at tom@essentialcomm.com.All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

Taming the Defensiveness Dragon

During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence.Lots and lots of tools and resources this month:Free downloads:The Feeling Words GridEQ ModelBooks and papers to sharpen your skills“Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success” “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success”“Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”“Executive Presence” from Center for Talent InnovationThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Executive PresenceManaging YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentFive episodes to help you command a room:109 Building Emotional Intelligence 146 Building Empathy155 The Human Element69 Leadership & Self-Deception17 Speaking for Yourself Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!! Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence

A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad.In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about:“Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.”Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184Executive Coaching Special Interest GroupThe Feeling Word GridThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Managing YourselfPerception – How You Perceive YourselfSelf-TalkFive episodes to help you manage during difficult times:109 - Building Emotional Intelligence52 - Coaching versus Therapy152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”171 - Taming the Wild ChildAll our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm

Wanting to command rooms with her voice, a team leader turned to her coach for exercises. She learned the secrets of “RVP.”In this episode, five practices to help you develop a voice that will command a room are discussed:Vocal varietyExpect resistanceRhythmVolumePitchThis episode has multiple tips and tools for each of those five development areas.The Zootopia clip that gets so much attention is here:    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HHKwnUa3txoThis episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:Communication SkillsExecutive PresencePresentation SkillsFive episodes to help you command a room:186 Video Feedback & Executive Presence120 Captivate Your Audience77 The Power of Rehearsal64 I  Talk Too Fast!34 Keeping Repeated Material FreshAll our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.Thanks for supporting us with your reviews. Let us know how we can support you.Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

How to Command a Room

In conversation with her coach, an executive explores whether leaders and managers use language differently in order to be effective in their roles.There are lots of ideas in this episode. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself!This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:LeadershipManagement SkillsPerception – How You’re PerceivedFive related episodes you might listen to are: 139Engagement & Performance138Managing Disruptive Executives140 Showing Teeth148Taming Meetings156The Voice of AuthorityMuch gratitude to the folks who post reviews. We appreciate your support and all your kind words.Let us know how we can support your growth and development. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023

An executive, in conversation with her coach, wonders if leaders and managers are different. And whether it matters.This episode has lots of ideas flying around. To help you sort the tools and put them into practice, we’ve created an infographic for you to download. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Help yourself! This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:LeadershipManagement SkillsRelationship BuildingFive related episodes you might listen to are: 139Dynamic One-on-Ones138How Teams Fight179 Managing Former Peers148Taming Meetings156The Voice of AuthorityWe are so grateful to those of you post reviews. It only takes you a minute or two, but it makes a world of difference for us. Our purpose is to support your growth and development. Let us know how we can help. Be in touch with us here. Until next month, be well!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Leadership v Management - 2023

A leader, stuck in an unhealthy cycle, searches for a way out. In conversation with his coach, he learns a four-square tool that just might work.A new free Essential Tool illustrating the four-square model is available for download in the Essential Tools bin. No login required. Help yourself.The model in this month’s episode is a variation on The ACT Matrix. Here’s our favorite YouTube video about The Matrix.The creators of The ACT Matrix wrote a book to help practitioners use the tool.This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Developing New BehaviorsManaging YourselfSelf-TalkHere are five episodes to help you get unstuck: 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks*Blind SpotsHow to Build Self-Awareness*How to Grow your Self-Management*How to Show Up* Indicates there’s a PDF in the Essential Tools bin to support the ideas in that episode.We are so excited to dive into the new year with you all! All the best,Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Finding a Lighter Path

A team leader had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His most recent leap landed him in hot water. In conversation with his coach, he learns a tool for making better choices.We created a new free Essential Tool illustrating The Ladder of Inference. It’s in the Essential Tools bin along with all the others. Please help yourself.The “Don’t Judge Too Quickly” ads are on YouTube here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UP8NRgWtPaE&t=18sThis current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Managing YourselfPerception – How You Perceive YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentIn addition to the various episodes listed above, five that will help you think about your thinking are:   102 – Getting Unstuck210 – How to Grow Your Self-Management63 – Positive Opposites154 – Self-Limiting Beliefs190 – Thinking ErrorsSafe and sane holidays, everyone. See you in the New Year! With gratitude,Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

How to Act in Your Own Best Interest

A senior executive worries that his lieutenants are not being taken seriously by the senior leadership team. He discusses with a coach how to help his rising leaders accelerate their growth. This is that conversation.     We created a new free Essential Tool for you called “Executive Thinking.” It illustrates the “altitude” analogy Tom told during the episode. It also supports one of the four exercises you can do with your team.Additional Essential Tools that support other exercises are “Before You Write Your Presentation” and “Sorting & Labeling.”Liberating Structures is the free resource Tom was raving about. The specific exercise he mentioned was TRIZ. Tom has talked about Liberating Structures in the episodes “How to Re-engage a Team” and “Leading Offsites.”If you’re approaching year-end performance reviews, there are tools to support you – no matter which side of the review you’re on! – in Performance Reviews. Tom referenced two shows that can help you learn Sorting & Labeling.Coaching For Leaders with Dave Stachowiak: The Way to Make Sense to Others.The Everyday Innovator with Chad McCallister: How Product Managers Look & Sound like Leaders.This current episode is tagged in the library in three categories:Executive PresenceLeadershipPerception – How You’re PerceivedIn addition to the various episodes listed above, five that relate specifically to executive thinking are:180  Becoming Expert193  Branding Yourself202  The Executive Executive178  Executive Presence – Three Pillars11  Sounding ExecutiveAs we hurtle in our year-end traditions, stay mindful!Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

How to Turn on Your Executive Thinking

A leader causing upset among her people is given a coach. In conversation, they examine what might be triggering people to be upset with her. The exploration leads to a simple, yet difficult, idea.Transcripts of every episode are available for download in our library. Tom mentioned two episodes with mindfulness tools. They are: The Mindful ExecutiveThe Focused Executive.This episode is filed in three categories in the library:Managing YourselfPersonal Growth & Self-DevelopmentSelf-TalkIn addition to the mindfulness episodes, five other related episodes are:204 Blind Spots119 Creating Devoted Followers171 Taming the Wild Child190 Thinking Errors96 The Many Parts of YouListen to Tom’s conversation with Kim O’Hara on “You Should Write a Book About That.”  Listen to Tom’s conversation with Marcel van de Hoef on “The Happy Investor.”  Gratitude to those who POST REVIEWS. You are life-sustaining! Thank you!Got a question you think a coach could help with? We’re happy to talk! Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

How to Disarm a Trigger

A team leader is tired of kerfuffles. In conversation with her coach, she learns to use a simple chart that generates almost miraculous results.The chart is available to you here. Please, help yourself.Other tools for leading your team that Tom mentioned in this episode include The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. You can download a sample of the team development tool based on the book that Tom mentioned. The Five Behaviors of a Cohesive Team assessment is available to you here.If you’re looking to pick Tom’s brain a little more, all his interviews are available to you in Conversations.His conversation on Keys to the Shop is available here. His conversation on Next Gen Leadership is available here. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under LeadershipLeading TeamsManagement Skills Related episodes you might listen to are: 91   Facilitating Open Dialogue149 How Teams Fight181 Inviting Dialogue175 Leading Offsites148 Taming Meetings195 The Intentional Leader As ever, we cannot give enough thanks to those of you who post reviews. Thank you for your support and kind words.Got a question about your career and how coaching might help? Get in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

Responsibility Charting

What’s helpful to say when you’re in an argument? How can you prepare to have an argument? This month’s coaching conversation dives deeper into the topic of “Conflict” which began last month. This episode has scripts and concepts for mastering The Conflict Conversation. We’ve created another PDF to support your leadership development. It’s a feedback model detailing actions and intentions for you. If you’re serious about your leadership, you have to be serious about mastering the art of feedback. Grab this Essential Tool and dig in. It’s waiting for you in our Tools bin. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under Communication SkillsRelationship BuildingFor WomenRelated episodes you might listen to are: #61  A Difficult Conversation #73  Disagree Agreeably #72  Getting Agreement #27  Repairing Damaged Relationships #88  Resolving Conflict  Thanks this month, and every month, to those of you who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team. 

The Conflict Conversation

Conflict is inevitable, but most of us were never taught skills to help us find our way through the dark corridors of this house called “Conflict.” This month’s coaching conversation illuminates predictable patterns and practical tools to navigate successfully through Conflict House. If you’re looking to develop your executive presence, our latest PDF is for you. It talks about the four factors every executive needs to be effective. It’s free. You can find it in our Tools bin.  Help yourself. This month’s episode is tagged in the Podcast Library under Relationship BuildingRelated episodes you might listen to are: 61  A Difficult Conversation 73  Disagree Agreeably 72  Getting Agreement 27  Repairing Damaged Relationships 88  Resolving Conflict  Tom references the book “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most” by Stone, Patton and Heen, from the Harvard Negotiation Project.As always, thanks to the folks who post reviews. We are so grateful for your support and kind words.If you have a question about your career and how coaching might help, be in touch with us here. Until next month, stay healthy and be well.Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.  

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