If a friend called and told you she'd blown it, you'd be gentle with her. Then you do the same thing yourself and think, what is wrong with me? There's one person most of us are never that kind to.In this episode, Kim and Coach Suzette break down negative self-talk — what it actually is, where the patterns came from, and the nine automatic negative thoughts (Dr. Daniel Amen calls them ANTs) that do most of the damage. IN THIS EPISODE:• What counts as negative self-talk — and why it's broader than being hard on yourself• Where these patterns come from: what you heard, and what you decided about yourself• Why your thoughts are not always true, even when they feel like facts• How a single thought changes your body chemistry — heart rate, stress hormones, all of it• The nine ANTs: All or Nothing, Less Than, Just the Bad, Fortune Telling, Mind Reading, Guilt Beatings, Blaming, If Only, and Labeling• Why "every should is a little hammer" — and what guilt beatings cost you• Why accurate thinking works better than positive thinking• The lens shift: reading your life through your biggest cheerleader instead of your worst day• Why everyone thinks they either have all nine or none of them EPISODE CHAPTERS:00:00 — The one person you're never kind to01:11 — What counts as negative self-talk02:00 — Where these patterns come from03:54 — Your thoughts are not always true05:22 — Every thought is chemistry06:36 — Meet the ANTs08:07 — All or Nothing09:18 — Less Than: the comparison trap10:38 — Just the Bad11:03 — Fortune Telling12:29 — Mind Reading13:28 — Guilt Beatings: the shoulds14:20 — Blaming15:00 — If Only / I'll Be Happy When15:30 — Labeling15:49 — This week's practice17:01 — Accurate thinking over positive thinking18:46 — Why we all deny having them20:14 — The five fear profiles21:20 — What's coming for Harmonizers22:22 — Just notice, and keep going THIS WEEK'S PRACTICE:Notice which ANTs speak the loudest to you. That's the whole assignment. You don't have to fix them, argue with them, or squash them this week — just meet the ant where it is, notice it, and keep going. Pick three or four that feel most alive in your life and sit with those. RESOURCES MENTIONED:Dr. Daniel Amen's writing on automatic negative thoughts — search "automatic negative thoughts" on the Amen Clinics blog: https://www.amenclinics.comFear Profile Quiz (three minutes, free): https://unafraidliving.com/quizComing soon: the Harmonizer mini book, first in the profile series READY TO GO DEEPER?The UNAFRAID Course gives you proven, practical brain-based tools to move out of fear and int

The 9 Thought Patterns Behind Negative Self-Talk

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