You can tell someone's upset before they've said a word. You notice who's bored in he meeting, who didn't like that comment, and when your husband answers you with two words instead of ten. So you might think of yourself as pretty self-aware. But are you aware of yourself, or mostly of everybody else? In this episode, Kim and Coach Suzette talk about self-awareness for harmonizers and people pleasers: what it actually is, why the automatic yes gets there before you've checked in with yourself, and what to do when you pause and come up blank. IN THIS EPISODE:• Why noticing the room and noticing yourself are two different skills• The small space between the ask and your answer, and why it's so short for harmonizers• Why your brain loves patterns, and how the automatic yes gets faster with practice• What to do when you pause and have no idea what you feel• Affect labeling: why putting a name on a feeling helps• Self-awareness versus rumination, and why curiosity beats criticism• Noticing a feeling doesn't obligate you to act on it• Why people can't know you if you don't know yourself• The practice: a short end-of-day journal, plus one line of gratitude EPISODE CHAPTERS:00:00 — Aware of everyone, or aware of yourself?00:54 — Kim retakes the quiz01:36 — The fourth episode in the Harmonizer series01:51 — Awareness pointed outward02:30 — "Do you have a headache?"03:16 — Ignoring a feeling vs. not noticing it04:01 — What self-awareness actually is04:21 — The automatic yes, and the flicker before it06:21 — The space between the ask and your answer07:57 — Knowing everyone's opinion but your own09:55 — Your brain loves patterns12:03 — Bringing the thought into your conscious mind14:14 — When the pause goes blank15:27 — Noticing doesn't mean you have to say no17:21 — "You two have no idea what you feel"19:11 — Guilt, and taking on what isn't yours21:49 — You're already feeling it22:28 — Notice it, name it, then decide22:48 — Self-awareness vs. rumination24:50 — Curiosity instead of self-criticism27:13 — Information without judgment28:40 — Getting included in the equation29:50 — Rediscovering what you enjoy31:58 — Why self-awareness is bigger than people pleasing34:37 — Getting in tune with yourself35:10 — The practice38:30 — Add a gratitude piece39:08 — The series so far, and what's next YOUR PRACTICE:At the end of the day, pick one moment that didn't feel quite right — a time you said yes too fast, said "I don't care" when you did, or wished you'd spoken up. Write down what happened (bullet points are fine), what you noticed in yourself, and one other

Why You Notice Everyone's Mood But Your Own (The Brain Science of Self-Awareness)

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